My sweet Joshua,
I have shed a few tears over the last few weeks. They’re a mix. A mix of sadness that one of the greatest parts of my life has come to an end – mothering you. But also a mix of joy. I’m so proud of you! As a mom, my job is literally to work myself out of a job and watch as you move on to start your own family. Despite my very flawed parenting abilities, you’ve turned into a pretty awesome young man.
It’s all done. This big, beautiful job of mothering you. C-o-m-p-l-e-t-e.
I hope you never grow tired of hearing me say, “I love you.” When I say those three little words they speak volumes.
I’m sure every mother says at one time or another: “I can’t believe how fast the time has gone,” but it’s unbelievably, heartbreakingly true.
On your wedding day, I was thinking how grateful I am for the privilege of being your mom. How your life will change in the next few years.
As a mother, you wear your heart on your sleeve. Literally, it’s as if a part of you is walking around on this earth outside your body.
Since you were born I’ve prayed about this day – God answered my prayer. Her name is Ezmi.
Once you met Ezmi you knew that she was the one. You were each other’s first love.
I will miss our long talks. So much. But those hopes, dreams, complaints about your day, etc., are now meant for long talks with her.
As I watch you fly away I will always be here waiting for you. My home will always be a place of acceptance and forgiveness and love.
Always remember this:
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. Eph. 5 25-30
It’s time for me to let go. It’s time to let another woman know you and love you in a way that goes much deeper than a mother’s love. That’s kind of hard to say. But it’s true.
I’m not going to be the first one you turn to anymore.
So don’t come to me before you go first to God and second to your wife. I’ll always be here to support you and love you, but I’m way down the list now. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. God’s ideal is this… a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. (Matthew 19:5)
Yep, hard for me to read but it’s true and it’s God’s perfect plan. Ezmi comes first. Before me. Always. I know you’ll always love me and I’ll always be close, but she is your priority.
I never thought I’d rest from mothering. Never thought I’d stop worrying over you. Thinking of you. But this morning I am joyful in realizing today is the day. And I will rejoice. I will be glad!
Today is the day to rejoice in knowing you are a man who loves Jesus deeply. A man who walked the first 28 years of his life close to Christ and often apart from the crowd. Because you held the hope that this day would come. And it would be worth the wait.
My prayer for you on your special day was simply that you keep your eyes on God and love Him first with all your heart, mind and soul. I pray that you and Ezmi would understand and feel God’s deep support. That in hard times you would cling to the truth that God is for you. And I want you to know that I am always for you. And just like God, there is nothing I wouldn’t give up for you. Nothing I wouldn’t sacrifice for you and to support your marriage.
I love you.
I’m proud of you.
I’m grateful that God walks beside you and carries you when you’re far away.
My love forever,
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[a] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Romans 8 31-32