When A Woman Of Faith Feels Unloved

 

A woman’s heart is a delicate thing. Neglect to “feed” and care for it, and it will wither and shrivel up into nothing. If your husband makes too many withdrawals from it without making enough deposits, and it will soon become empty. Bruise it, batter it, beat it up, and it will either go into hiding  or morph into something ugly and destructive.  I believe that a woman trapped in a marriage with a man who doesn’t respect her or cherish her is a very very sad thing to behold.   It is truly  devastating when a man doesn’t live up to his God-given role in marriage.  Some women feel unloved because their husbands do not find them attractive.   If this is the case, it’s only because he’s allowed selfishness to distort his view of what real beauty really means. God created you and you are a Masterpiece. His precious, priceless daughter. If your husband has lost sight of that, it’s his fault; not yours.  This Feeling of rejection from a spouse causes a deep and profound sense of loneliness and isolation, but you are NOT alone! God is with you and He will never leave you or forsake you.

God never intended for a women to feel this way, in God’s ideal world a woman would get many of her needs for intimacy, protection, and love met by her husband. And many women are blessed to have many of those needs met in their marriage now.

If you feel unloved we do not need to look any farther than God’s word. Take heart the Lord see’s your tears and hear’s your prayers. Just look at the story of Leah (who felt all these things and more) for encouragement: Leah, the wife of Jacob, experienced this; but God heard her prayers and saw her plight.

Leah’s story starts in Genesis 29. Jacob’s uncle, Laban, had two daughters. Leah, the eldest, had eyes that were “delicate.” Rachel, with whom Jacob fell in love, was Laban’s younger daughter; and she “was beautiful of form and appearance” (Genesis 29:16-17). When this switch was discovered by Jacob in the morning, he demanded of his father-in-law, “What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you deceived me?” (Genesis 29:25).

After Jacob celebrated his marriage with Leah for one week, he then also took Rachel as his wife, and we’re told about a very important and sad dynamic in this marriage in verse 30: “Then Jacob also went in to Rachel, and he also loved Rachel more than Leah.”

Laban was happy he thought he had made a good bargain in these deals, but what impact did all this have on Leah? She was now the wife of Jacob, a man who had not desired her nor expected her to be his wife. Jacob had been in love with her younger sister Rachel all along!

We can only Imagine how that must have felt to Leah to have her husband for one week unhappy and unsatisfied knowing he only desired her younger sister. Leah knew that she was the unloved wife. Unfortunately, sometimes women suffer from feeling unloved. Sometimes they are victims of unhappy marriages through no fault of their own.

But God was aware of this unfortunate situation, and He had compassion on Leah. “When the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren” (Genesis 29:31). Leah was not overlooked or unloved by God. God rewarded her with children, which was a highly important honor for a wife in those days. The names that Leah subsequently chose for her sons demonstrated that she had faith, trust and hope in God.

We can learn a lesson from Leah’s faith in God and from her trials. God is the giver of all good gifts, and Leah always made sure she gave credit to God and God’s providence. When she felt alone and unloved, she prayed and trusted in God, and God was there to help. God was faithful in giving her an endowment of children—an inheritance. Leah’s husband, Jacob, did indeed dwell with Leah—in the land that the children of Israel would inherit.

The best part of this story is the epilogue, how did Leah’s life turn out in the end? After Rachel’s death, Leah carried on as the wife of Jacob, and the mother of his many children, living in Canaan. The Bible does not say when she died, but Leah is buried in the cave of Machpelah, along with her husband Jacob (Genesis 49:29-31). In the family tomb are her husband’s father and mother, Isaac and Rebekah; and her husband’s grandfather and grandmother, Abraham and Sarah. Leah will awaken in a resurrection to life in the future and will find out how many children she truly has!

God will hear our prayers and will intervene for us. God has compassion for the brokenhearted Leah, the wife of Jacob, understood that, and we need to have faith similar to that of Leah. Isn’t that good news!  I hope and pray, that you found encouragement today!

 

I pray for the women who are lonely and feeling very unloved and in pain.  Help them to look to Your Word and to find Your Love is more than enough to meet their needs  Help us to be faithful to You and faithful to our husbands.  Help us to learn to use the power You have given us as women to bless our husbands and to inspire them to greater heights by Your plan.

Blessings, In Christ

Cheryl Downum

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Finding Joy

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

I started this blog to inspire and encourage women to a deeper Faith in Jesus Christ.  I have found in my life that the Lord often uses our deepest pain as the launching pad to our deepest calling.  After, my divorce I found myself in world of hurt and pain, it was only through my relationship with Jesus Christ I graduated from a Healing Heart (my last blog) to a Joyful walk with my Heavenly Father.

I was in a difficult time of transition in my life, and things didn’t appear to be working out very well. I was single for the first time in many years, working for a ministry to abused women, but was having a hard time finding joy in any situation. I was getting by just barely emotionally as well as financially.  I thought my priorities were in line. I was serving God and others in ministry but, I wasn’t feeling JOY.; I was feeling STRESS and loneliness.

Joy is something we all long for, but often thru our pain seems difficult to grab hold of.

The first thing I needed to realize is that joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is circumstantial and is fleeting. Joy is a heart posture. The root word for joy in the Greek is chara, which is closely related with the Greek charis for “grace.” Joy is both a gift of God as well as a response to the gifts of God. Joy comes when we are aware of God’s grace and His favor.

I have found that the way to experience joy is to focus on God, through His word, worship music and most importantly fellowship. Rather than dwelling on our difficulties or those things that are robbing us of our contentment, we can dwell on God.  Believe me, this is not to say we should deny our pain and hurt or stuff our negative emotions. We can learn from many of the psalmists, we can pour out our hearts to God. We can come before Him and tell Him all the things that are hurting us. But, then we need to submit those things to Him and remember who He is.  Look to Psalm 3, 13, 18,43 and 103 for great examples.

After several moments of prayer and praise the stress from my life started to lift and I began to sense the sweet presence of the Lord. As I knelt in prayer and spending time in God’s word, worshiping my Creator, slowly I felt my joy returning to my life.

Since that time, like the Apostle Paul, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.   For I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:12

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow and blossom. Fully surrender to the loving arms of our Father.  Grow in the Grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ our Savior, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.

So when you feel like your joy is running low, get into the presence of the Lord today. Spend time in prayer and praise to your Creator. He will fill you with joy and develop in you endurance for anything He calls you to do.