Search My Heart

search me

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.  Psalm 139 23-24

David was a man who loved God with a reckless abandon. His life was a picture of success and failure, and his biblical record shows the fact that David was far from perfect. But what made David a cut above the rest was that his heart was always pointed toward God. He had a deep desire to follow God’s will and do “everything” God wanted him to do. He was a man after God’s own heart.  One of the reasons why David is called a man after God’s own heart is that he had absolute faith in God. He was also a prayerful man and God had granted David understanding and wisdom through his daily meditation. We should look to David as a role model and not only read God’s Word but also think about and meditate on it throughout the day, for God loves it when we think about Him. “Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart. They do nothing wrong; they walk in his ways” (Psalm 119:2–3).

After David sinned, he was always truly repentant.  He shows us our first and most important reaction to sin should always be to ask God to search us. There are times when we know that we sinned, but there are also times that we sin and we aren’t even aware of it until it is revealed to us. This is why we need to allow God to search us and “know” our hearts. Let him reveal the sin in your life that you may not even know you have committed.

I want to encourage you today to let the Lord search you. Take the time to ask Him to “know your heart.” We don’t need to spend time walking in the anxiety of our sinful nature. Instead, how much more freeing would it be to release it, trust God with it, allow Him to lead us out of it and in so doing, give us the confidence to know that we are His. Be comforted today in knowing that a sin found, forgiven, and forgotten is a sin you no longer have to concern yourself with.

In conclusion, David was a man after God’s own heart because he demonstrated his faith and was committed to following the Lord. Yes, his faith was tested on a grand scale, and he failed at times. But after his sin he sought and received the Lord’s forgiveness. In the final analysis, David loved God’s Law and sought to follow it exactly. As a man after God’s own heart, David is a role model for all of us.

May God, through our humble confession and prayer, so reveal His Son to us that we can say with the early believers, “We ourselves have heard Him and we know that this is indeed the Christ, the Savior of the world” (John 4:42).

Dear Heavenly Father

Teach me how to align my heart with Yours. I recommit myself as a man/woman after Your heart. I choose to seek Your face (Psalm 27:8). In difficult times, open my heart to receive Your revelation. Hide me in the shelter of your tabernacle (Psalm 27:5). Reveal deeply to my heart Your love for me. Rescue me in the midst of difficult circumstances, and bring me into a spacious place (Psalm 18:19). Teach me to enjoy life the way you desire. I choose to be confident in Your love. I am Your Bride. “I love you, O LORD, my strength” (Psalm 18:1). 

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The Missing Piece Of The Puzzle

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Psalm 33:6 says, “By the Word of the Lord the heavens were made, and all the host of them by the breath of His mouth.”

God spoke and the earth was formed out of nothing. How much more do you think God can put the pieces of your life back together?  if He can create the universe from nothing?

In the past several months I have been dealing with cancer, surgery and it’s treatments.  I have been on bed-rest and frankly, had way to much alone time.  Time to think about the last couple years since my divorce.  I found myself stuck things just did not make sense to me.  There was a span of about a month that went from talking reconciliation, proclamations of love to I want a divorce by email.  The explanation given (no face to face or talking on the phone) did not make any sense to me, why? because I knew it was not true. He has always been a person who avoids confrontation and maybe this was just to painful to explain or face.  I realize we cannot expect things from people they cannot give.   But, one of my biggest challenges has always been that I have an analytical mind, therefore, everything needs to make sense for me to move on.

This got me thinking about my youngest child.

She has always loved puzzle-working and she knows the best puzzles are the ones with lots of small pieces with similar colors, making it a big challenge. Watching her work her puzzles, I have often thought over the course of the last two years how very much like a puzzle our lives are. God fitting each piece of our story together perfectly.  The problem was, the pieces of this story did not seem to fit. There was a huge piece missing.  It wasn’t so much about moving on from the person as it was making sense of the whole situation and being blindsided.  To be fair, We had been struggling since I chose to separate.  Making sure I was fully in God’s will.  Ever the obedient child who leans to much towards legalism, aww…yet another hurdle in my life. Check!

From my point of view (which is sometimes dangerous), the pieces just didn’t seem to fit.  I could not see the completed picture on the outside of the box so I was not sure how these pieces all fit together.  But Jesus knows. He has a reason for each one.  He is not only a great puzzle maker but he is the best at putting puzzles together even the ones that seem to have no color or life and to us don’t fit.  I just love how He causes things to happen, people to meet that HAVE to be in place so some future piece of our puzzle will fit together perfectly..

That is what happened to me, a couple days ago, I thought ok, this is ridiculous I was being inundated with emails from his family criticizing me and saying really hurtful things.  I cried, prayed and reached out to a pastor that knows the situation well, in our correspondence the Lord gave me a really precious gift, unbeknownst to him he gave me that missing piece.  Suddenly everything made sense, as much as it could anyway.  I felt immediately a sense of peace that truly did pass all understanding.  Pro 3:5,6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He shall direct[a] your paths.  Would I have liked the outcome to be different, absolutely, I believe every marriage can be restored if both hearts are open.  Only problem was that was not our case.  Instead the proverbial easy way was taken.  But I now had  the answers I needed to move on and commit this person and my life to the Lord, and to forgive and ask forgiveness for the part I played.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.  James 1:17
There have been many of these “divine appointments” or “Gifts”  over the last couple years. He has thankfully been so active in my life and journey that I sometimes feel like I am —well, that my life is like a story in a book.  It is a kind of paradox really. We are all already a piece of a God sized puzzle but at the same time…. everything shapes us.  All the emotions, the joy, the tragedies, the accomplishments, the mistakes, the good days, the hard days, the mundane days all working together for good.  Shaping us into what the Lord desires. Romans 8:28

28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

The last couple of years has been quite an education, like being in school with God,  He taught me each step of the way, not only what I needed to know but what would help me through at each point along the journey. These lessons were deep and profound. Opening my eyes and heart. Changing me from the inside out.  Quieting my soul. Healing me, and not just emotionally, but physically as well.

I am human (and at times neurotic) and though I have learned valuable lessons that have reshaped me, and stretched me, there were times when “the enemy” attacks. There have been weeks, months on end, when he drags my mind through the mire and muck.  It is in these times of attack that my past baggage starts resurfacing, hopelessness tries to creep in and present stresses pound in the back of my mind.

It is at these times of difficulty that we acknowledge what it means that He is God. This is all about Him. This is His story. It is about obedience.  He is in control and sitting on His throne.  I needed to Let Him do his job, completely surrendered to His will no matter what.

Having confidence that the pieces of our lives are slowly all fitting together to create a beautiful picture. Even though we won’t see the completed picture this side of Heaven, we can know the Creator is creating a beautiful picture from the pieces of our one ordinary, messy, beautiful life.

I am so thankful to the Lord who used this pastor to put that last piece of the puzzle together that fit perfectly in my puzzle of life.  A pastor that has been patient with me when he did not need to.  That spoke the truth with love, that sometimes can be a hard pill to swallow, but is just what we need to hear at just the right time. After all, I am not even part of his flock, although I once was, but I guess I am because we are all brothers and sisters in Christ a family of believers. Hallelujah

You see God was saying all along, “I have the missing piece. It’s a surrendered relationship with me. That is what you have been missing. That is what you have been searching for and didn’t realize it.”  All I needed to do was ask and have faith that he would show me the way and heal my brokenheart.  But, the Lord, being gracious knew I needed the assurance of that last earthly piece.
David said to the Lord, “My times are in Your hand; deliver me from the hands of my enemies” (Psalm 31:15). I have to remind myself that I have a Creator who designed me, and my life is in His hands. Only He knows where every piece belongs.

The Bible provides a wonderful message to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18 says,“The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

The Apostle Peter said something that really resonates with all of this: “Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” (1 Peter 4:19). Sometimes it is God’s will that we are broken for a time, as it was in Job’s case. We must entrust ourselves to Him, believing that He is faithful in every good thing, in His good time. When we leave this earthly tent and enter into God’s presence, we will be completely whole.

Revelation 21:1-5, the greatest promise for God’s beloved is this:

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

The final promise from Revelation 22:20,

He who testifies to these things says, ‘Yes, I am coming soon.’ Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My God Is Faithful!

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2 Thess 3:3 the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one

As I have shared my testimony with all of you, you know I have been going through a very painful divorce, that I did not want.  I also have an auto-immune system disease that is aggravated by stress.  My recent tests have revealed I have a lot of pre-cancer cells in my esophagus and stomach.  During a recent doctor’s appointment, I received a stern warning to get my stress and anxiety under control or you will die.

So, he referred me to a counselor, because of my insurance I was not able to pick who I wanted to see.  My desire was to talk to a bible teaching Christian counselor, but because I was under obligation to I made an appointment.

So, I am thinking..ok..I will go talk and see what she say’s, really wanting a Christian. Thinking a secular counselor will probably think I am crazy!  So, I walk in and she is a beautiful woman with a glow about her. She immediately say’s to me “are you a believer?” I smiled and said “yes”…she say’s “ok..great what is your walk like”? Do you have a problem relating to God as your loving Heavenly Father because of your fatherlessness and abuse issues?  “You realize at the heart of all these issues is your relationship with him.”  She continues “Peace comes to us after we have made a full surrender of everything and everyone in our lives.”  So, needless, to say the next hour and a half..was SUCH a Blessing! He is so Faithful to meet us RIGHT where we are at!! He goes before us and prepares the way, He knew I needed more than a secular counselor could offer me.  I believe he hand picked her just for me.

Then another Godly woman, a pastor’s wife I met years ago, (where my ex-husband guest spoke at in Whittier), gave me a verse out of the blue:

 “Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me.” (Ps 131:1)

I realized through this verse, I do not have to figure out why he divorced me.  Or why he found someone else.  I just have to lean in and Trust my Heavenly Father to deliver me from my hurt and pain.  After all, He loves me more than any earthly person can!

Getting over my hurt will be a struggle, But after today,  I am excited because I know I will have Victory and wait with anticipation for what the Lord has for me!

Father, everyone and everything in my life is turned over to you for your control! Father, you know it is easier to say, then live, but I want to learn to live the lifestyle that will honor you and bless you…I want my life to bring you glory, help me, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Hallelujah and Amen.

 

A Godly Woman

Untitled Godly women

A Godly woman’s strength is revealed during times of affliction. When things in life seem heavy to bear or people don’t understand how she can maintain joy and peace in God, she confesses that the “joy of the Lord is my strength”.

A Godly woman trusts in God’s word. Through prayer, she is sure that God is always faithful and trusts in Him.

A Godly woman understands and knows her purpose from God. She has spent time in prayer and studying God’s word, so, she know’s His will for her life.

Lord, make me that woman.  And guide me in that way, Behold, Thou art the potter, and I the softened clay. Encourage me where I am right; rebuke me where I’m wrong. Help me Lord, to become this kind of woman.

She Is Strong In Faith

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But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16

One of my favorite stories in the bible is the story of Ruth.

When we are introduced to Ruth, we meet a woman who is in mourning the loss of her husband, the love of her life. Ruth is enduring enormous suffering, but she still chooses to serve others despite her own grief and pain. Ruth chooses to trust in God’s plan and rely on Him no matter what the circumstances.

I don’t know about you, but my desire is to be a woman who chases after God’s heart and continues to seek Him no matter what my circumstance or how hard the situation I am facing becomes.
Through Ruth’s obedience to God, she created a life full of abundant love and blessings for her and her family. Ruth remained faithful to God and He blessed her.

He blessed her with a beautiful love story. A love story between Ruth and Boaz. God believes in second chances. If we remain faithful He always restores better than before. Just like Ruth, God can turn your heartache and loss into your greatest love story to ever unfold. God blessed Ruth with a love better than she could have ever imagined, and her legacy of love continued through the lineage of Jesus and beyond!

What a wonderful example for women today to follow!

So the challenge for you now is to read the book of Ruth, you will be blessed!.

“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promise to her!” ~Luke 1:45

Trust In The Lord

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Trust in the LORD and do good. Dwell in the land and feed on faithfulness. Psalm 37:3

I trust You, Lord. I trust Your plan. I trust Your goodness. I trust what You can see and I can’t.  I trust You with my life, my hopes, my dreams, and my disappointments.  I trust You with it all, Lord.

We are to trust God in all situations and circumstances, no matter how large or small. It is through faith in The Lord and submission to The Holy Spirit that we can feed on His Word and rest in His love for us.

He is a Faithful God and His Faithfulness is new every morning. He will feed us like a shepherd feeds his sheep, guiding us through all the valleys of life. Great is His faithfulness.

Trusting in the LORD and doing good to others. When we live by these two commitments, we learn to depend upon God in fresh new ways that bring us refreshment, hope, and new joy.